Sex, remains one of the most important, common and favourite of all the life experiences. This is irrespective of how stigmatized and alienated it is in society. Great sex doesn’t come easy without good communication with your partner.
Sadly this much needed practice barely exists in the bedrooms. Talking about sex becomes essential if a couple wishes to have an enriching and mutually satisfying sexual relationships. A partner that is introverted feels shy, guilty and even scared. This is especially true when it comes to expressing their needs, likes and dislikes. For the most part these feelings are the result of the social taboos, and gender role stereotypes.
Firstly, there are those who have trouble communicating freely with their partners. Secondly, there are many responsible partners struggling to establish an open, respecting and comfortable relationship.
Opening The Doors Of Communication
If your partner is reserved, shy or is not comfortable discussing sexual matters give them some time. One may resist the urge to jump start the communication about the wild fantasies, or the reckless sexual experiences and begin with casual talks, asking about your partner’s mood, health, day, work etc. Make your partner comfortable, and give them the required space. This facilitates warmth in a relationship and brings people close. This way partners get to know each other better, and feel emotionally connected which in turn makes it easier for both of the partners to know each other deeply, feel open and concerned about the other partner and enjoy the conversations with each other.
Sometimes a partner doesn’t respond to the other partner’s initiatives. The usual perception is indifference and disinterest. This may not always be the case. One may expect their partners to respond and be spontaneous in conversations. However it may be helpful to give them the required time to verbalize their minds. This depends on your partner’s thought process and emotional state. Patiently waiting for their responses and even changing the topic to something else if your partner isn’t comfortable are subtle cues that help your partner realize that you understand them, care for them and that they’re with a safe person. This feeling of security helps them respond and even initiate the discussions freely.
Discussing The Fears, Feeling & Taboos
It is essential to understand what makes your partner shy away from communication about sexual matters. You might feel dissatisfied in the relationship because your partner doesn’t respond to your seductive and erotic moves. Your partner might be overwhelmed by shame about how they feel. In addition they may be confused and not sure how to respond. Taking a dive into your partner’s mind to understand their fears, insecurities, and confusions saves a relationship from unwanted troubles.
A lot of partners experience relationship difficulties when it comes to trust. The issue is that you want to keep all communication, whether it be conversations, meetings, fights and makeups with your partner personal whereas your partner does the opposite. They share with their friends and post it on social media. Sometimes partners are not able to discuss their deep desires and not willing to go forward in the relationship due to the perceived lack of trust or insecurities.
They fear that you might share their secrets with others thus partners should be sensitive enough to each other’s emotional needs. It is the responsibility of a partner to make sure that the other partner feels safe in a relationship. Only the two of you need to be involved in what happens behind closed doors. Past infidelities also have a role to play on trust issues.
Overcoming Disabling Emotions
Shame and guilt are common emotions. All of us experience them at some point or another, especially in between the sheets. It is not rare to feel anxious before, during or after you undress in front of a person. You fear their judgments about you, your skills and your body. In addition you feeling ashamed in expressing yourself and guilty of not being able to match their expectations. Shame, fear, anxiety and guilt together complicate the matter. They make it difficult for a person to feel the passion, enjoy the moment and use creativity. It may take a while for your partner to overcome the burden of these disabling emotions and enjoy the ride of candid conversations with you.
Sex is much more than just a biological act. It is the manifestation of your Psyche, it gets better with deep emotional connection and desirable understanding. Couples plan some cosy pillow talk sessions and experience the difference. Don’t Just Have Sex, Make Love!!
Men’s Clinic International deals with any sexual problems that are related to Weak Erections, Early Ejaculation, Low Libido, STIs or Circumcision. Do get in touch with us to book a consultation with our professional doctors who specialise in Men’s Sexual Health.
To read more about Communication With Your Partner, click here.