Sex is a really complicated subject. Too many lessons exist about this subject. We are challenged to satisfy our partners. If it isn’t about ejaculating early, it is then about ejaculating late. This takes us to that question too many are asking: HOW LONG SHOULD SEX LAST? How much is too much sex and what happens if you have trouble reaching an orgasm?
These are too many questions that don’t have an accurate answer. So we won’t try to answer them in this post. Sex is meant to be enjoyed by both partners no matter the sexual preference. The issue of having trouble reaching an orgasm is real and frustrating to many who can’t reach orgasm soon. Some men like Bhekzin , a member of our Facebook community, can only reach orgasm during masturbation, while others cannot reach orgasm at all. For both partners, this can be a confusing and difficult situation.
Women feel insecure about their desirability and may doubt their sexual skill; men feel helpless, hopeless and extremely frustrated.
The fact is that most men with delayed ejaculation (DE) have no trouble getting, or keeping their erection, the issue is simply their inability to orgasm easily. In part, this may be due to low levels of sexual arousal. Simply because a man is erect, does not necessarily mean he is sexually aroused.
Put Masturbation on hold.
It might happen that when you masturbate you ejaculate normally, but when you are having sex you take time to ejaculate. We take note that most men as they age, will experience an increase in the time it takes to reach ejaculation, as well as the duration between erections. So it is time to put masturbation on hold. Once you take a break, see if that affects your ability to reach climax during sex.
As we outlined in the intro, delayed ejaculation is frustrating for both partners and can cause a lot of anxiety. This is where communication, compassion and reassurance become extremely important. Reassure your partner that you find them attractive. Share your sexual fantasies that leave you feeling highly aroused.
Talk openly about each other’s fears and frustrations in order to give the situation some perspective; this should allow you both to be more understanding of each other’s feelings, and eliminate some of the negativity surrounding the situation.
Focus on the Foreplay
Most men with ejaculation problems are still able to reach orgasm through masturbation. A good place to begin is to incorporate elements of foreplay and masturbation into your sexy session with your partner, while you work up to orgasming on penetration. If you are both comfortable, explore mutual masturbation. If you need to work up to that, start by masturbating under the sheets while your partner kisses and caresses you.
Incorporate elements of the fantasies you shared when communicating with your partner. Eventually, you should be able to reach intense arousal through foreplay and masturbation then you can penetrate your partner just before ejaculation.
The most important thing to remember when having trouble reaching orgasm is to stay calm. Although it’s natural to feel frustrated, it won’t help the situation at hand. Keep a cool head and focus on what makes you feel aroused, without shutting out your partner. You’re in this together, and mutual love, support and understand will go a long way.
Don’t take the information we share with you as medical diagnosis. If you happen to be experiencing changes in your sexual health, it’s important to speak with your doctor. DE could be a side effect of medication, such as alpha-blockers or antidepressants. Consult a Doctor to find out the real reason why it is happening.
Men’s Clinic International deals with any sexual problems that are related to Weak Erections, Early Ejaculation, Low Libido, STIs or Circumcision. Do get in touch with us to book a consultation with our professional doctors who specialise in Men’s Sexual Health.
To read more about trouble reaching orgasm, click here.